To Spank or Not to Spank? A Pastor's Case for Biblical Discipline, Practiced Rightly

Few parenting questions stir up as much feeling as this one. A generation or two ago, spanking was simply how most families disciplined their children. Today, many countries have outlawed it, and much of the parenting world treats it as harmful by definition.

I want to make a different case. I believe the biblical approach to discipline, which includes spanking, was not abandoned because it was wrong. It was abandoned because too many parents practiced it wrongly, and the abuses were allowed to define the whole practice.

A note for Eastbridge parents: at school, Eastbridge follows the Department of Education's child protection policy, and our teachers do not use corporal punishment. This article is a pastor's guidance for parents in their own homes.

How the tide turned

The shift did not begin with a scientific discovery. Much of it traces back to Dr. Benjamin Spock's Baby and Child Care (1946), which arrived just in time for the post-war baby boom and became, for millions of parents, the standard guide to raising children. Its gentler approach, including its stand against spanking, ran against the grain of what most families had always done. In time, it became the new consensus.

Popularity, however, is not the same as correctness. A view can win because it is well marketed and widely repeated, not because it is right.

What the research actually shows

Parents today often hear that "studies show" spanking leads to aggression, depression, low self-esteem, and worse. It is fair to take this seriously. The best-known review, by psychologist Elizabeth Gershoff (2002), found that physical punishment was linked with a range of poorer outcomes, and a larger follow-up review in 2016 reached similar conclusions. These findings are why so many experts now oppose spanking.

But two important questions are often left out.

First, a link is not a cause. I studied statistics in college, and one of the first lessons is that correlation does not prove causation. A survey might find that people who watch Eat Bulaga are more likely to own dogs. That does not mean the show turns people into dog lovers. In the same way, children who are spanked more may already be more difficult to manage; the misbehavior may be causing the spanking, not the other way around.

Second, what kind of spanking was studied? Many studies place frequent, angry, forceful hitting in the same category as occasional, calm, measured discipline from a loving parent. That is like counting the careful hunter and the reckless gunman as the same kind of gun owner. When researchers separate the two, the picture changes.

That is exactly what Dr. Robert Larzelere and his colleagues did. In a 2005 meta-analysis, Larzelere and Brett Kuhn compared physical punishment with alternative discipline tactics and found that conditional spanking, meaning non-abusive spanking used to back up milder measures such as reasoning or time-out, mainly with children around 2 to 6 years old, compared favorably with most alternatives. It was severe or predominant use of physical punishment that compared poorly. Respected developmental psychologist Dr. Diana Baumrind of the University of California, Berkeley, writing with Larzelere and Philip Cowan (2002), likewise argued that the evidence does not justify a blanket condemnation of normal, non-abusive disciplinary spanking.

In other words, the research does not say what we are often told it says. It warns clearly against harsh and frequent physical punishment, and I agree with that warning with all my heart. It does not show that loving, controlled, occasional spanking ruins children.

Answering the common objections

"If adults may not hit each other, parents may not hit children." This sounds fair, but it ignores the nature of the family. When an adult strikes another adult, we call the police. But no one expects a father to file charges against his son for hitting his sister. Parents carry an authority and a responsibility inside the home that strangers do not. Children are quite able to tell the difference between legitimate correction from someone who loves them and random violence.

"Spanking teaches children to lie and hide." Some adults who were spanked harshly say it taught them only to avoid getting caught. I believe them; harsh, angry punishment can do that. But I have also seen, as a father, that no one needs to teach a child to lie. Children learn it on their own. Lying is first a spiritual problem of the heart, not only a psychological one, and it is the heart that biblical discipline aims to reach.

"It can be abused, so it should be banned." Knives, cars, medicine, and even food can be abused. We do not ban them; we teach people to use them rightly and we punish real abuse. The same should be true here.

"It destroys self-esteem." Discipline given in anger can wound a child. Discipline given in love, followed by restoration, tells a child something precious: you matter enough for me to correct you.

What Scripture says

"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24, KJV). "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth" (Hebrews 12:6, KJV). The Bible treats discipline as an act of love, not of anger, and it promises fruit: "No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness" (Hebrews 12:11, KJV).

Scripture also guards the child: "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged" (Colossians 3:21, KJV). Biblical discipline is never harsh, humiliating, or out of control. A parent who disciplines in rage is not following the Bible; he is disobeying it.

Not every child needs a spanking, and not every offense calls for one. Some children respond to a word or a look. The biblical way is not "spank for everything," and it is not "never spank." It is a loving middle path, with the parent's goal always being the child's heart.

Where the law stands

In the Philippines, there is currently no national law banning spanking by parents at home. Proposals such as the Positive and Non-Violent Discipline of Children Act have been filed in Congress several times, and a version passed by Congress was vetoed in 2019. Child-rights groups continue to push for such a law. Parents should know that abusive physical punishment is already punishable under our child-protection laws, as it should be.

A closing word

My convictions on this come first from Scripture. It encourages me that careful research, when it separates loving discipline from abuse, so often confirms what the Bible taught all along. The One who created our children knows best how they should be raised. Our task is to discipline the way He disciplines us: firmly, fairly, and always in love.

— Pastor Gerry Limoso, Founder and President, The Eastbridge School. First written in 2007; revised in 2026.

Sources: Spock, B. (1946). The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care. · Gershoff, E. T. (2002). Corporal punishment by parents and associated child behaviors and experiences. Psychological Bulletin, 128(4). · Baumrind, D., Larzelere, R. E., & Cowan, P. A. (2002). Ordinary physical punishment: Is it harmful? Psychological Bulletin, 128(4). · Larzelere, R. E., & Kuhn, B. R. (2005). Comparing child outcomes of physical punishment and alternative disciplinary tactics: A meta-analysis. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 8(1). · Gershoff, E. T., & Grogan-Kaylor, A. (2016). Spanking and child outcomes. Journal of Family Psychology, 30(4).