For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you have to endure... If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons - (Heb 12:6, 8 ESV)
It's incredible how much you can see change in just one lifetime. The food that we ate as children were definitely not the same food we eat today. The games that we played back then were more physical, more adventurous and risky compared to the finger games we play with our gadgets. Many will remember the mode of transport we had then - buses with wooden bodies and long benches for seats, running on uncemented roads, making the passengers endure heat and dust. A friend or relative abroad? We either did a long distance call which was expensive or wrote a sea mail and waited for a reply which would come in about two months. The river was the preferred venue for swimming and every "medical" intervention would always involve some form of hilot or herbal concoctions. And the fashion? We would rather do without those bell-bottomed jeans made of double knit fabric while strutting around in clogs. Many of those things were easily discarded for something more modern, more convenient or more practical. But in the process of modernizing, have we also discarded some of the things that made us better people?
When we settled in cities, we got the benefit of convenience but we also lost that sense of community, where everybody knows everybody. When our jobs became white collar, we didn't have to deal with dirt and mud but we also lost the benefit of exercise. When we begin to increase in our food production, we gained surplus but also lost nutrients of plants grown the more natural way. When we discarded biblical principles of raising our children, we gained overconfident kids smothered in attention and material comfort but lost in the area of discipline and respect for authority.
Change is good, but only if it makes things beter, situations better, or people better. The bible is rich with principles that can teach us how to balance that which we discard for the purpose of modernizing and that which we need to keep for they have enduring value and are time-tested ways of being human. Take the case of discipline for example. Hebrews 12 tells us that God disciplines us for our good (v. 10), and the reason He does this is because He loves His children (v. 6). Modern parents have practically discarded this principle and replaced it with modern psychology where self-esteem rules and correction is thrown out the window. The bible tells us that only discipline can produce the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (v. 11). Now we can always presume that we know better. But do we, really? What has our overconfident generation brought us so far? To be fair, they have become better at looking at themselves and sometimes this results to a more productive life. But where's the hype that promised low prison populations, happier families, better job relationships, etc.?
In her article in her article titled, "How the Self-Esteem Craze Took Over America, And why the hype was irresistible", which traced the origin, development and the over-hyping of self-esteem throughout America, author Jesse Singal she said, "As it turned out, there was very little validity to the causal claims everyone was making about self-esteem in the 1980s and ’90s. We know that because around the turn of the century, long after self-esteem programs had blossomed all over North America, the psychological Establishment decided to take a more critical look at the dogma surrounding the subject." (You can read the full article by clicking this LINK.)
If anything, those raised in the hype of self-esteem ended up as people who cannot endure correction, who are so full of themselves and are not easily teachable because the refrain that keeps playing in their heads is, "I am lovable, I am special, I am lovable, I am special".
God also calls us special. Can anything be more special than being called a child of God, the King of kings and the Lord or lords? But even special children of God are disciplined by Him because, as the bible says, if we love our children, we should discipline them. If we are not disciplined by God then it only means one thing: we are illegitimate and not His own sons (v. 8). And that's that.
If discipline is a necessary tool of loving, because to love is to desire what's best for our children's future, as a parent we should not discard this important biblical principle for anything conceived by modern man. And not just discipline. We should not be too quick to embrace the next craze because if we want to know that which will really endure, we should go back to the instruction that promises will never go out of date - the word of God (1 Pet 1:25; Isa 40:8). Remember that our motive for doing things and changing things are usually because it makes everybody feel good. Oh, a lot of things that don't feel good are actually doing us a lot of good. Discipline is one, medicine is one. And don't get me started on the benefits of vegetables, exercise and the proverbial avoidance of sweets.
Change may bring good, but not always. Let's exercise caution and wisdom in adopting them and especially in applying them into our lives. What parental problems are we now facing because we raised our children by way of gadgets? Where are we in our relationshipe with our spouses, with our siblings, with our loved ones since we have adopted all the modernities and conveniences of life? Have we gained in our humanity or have we lost a lot?
